BYE BYE SUNDAY.

The rain has stopped. A glimpse of sunshine appeared this noon letting people know it was Sunday. The last day of weekend has always been the most beautiful day for me. It's the day I'll wake up to without panicking and checking my phone for the time. Sunday's beauty remains unchanged in my heart due to the fact that's it's my one day off, the only time when I get a chance to sit calmly at a cafe for a croissant and cappuccino, or stay lazy in bed until lunch.

But today, I enjoyed Sunday differently. I woke up at 7.30 with no proper breakfast in the same outfit I was wearing yesterday. You know where I've been. The walk of shame strutting for a few meters until I got in a cab. Before that, couples of eyes couldn't stop staring at me. Was it the black outfit from head to toe of mine with their unavoidable volumn? Or was it because those people'd been through what I've been through to know the face of a guilty early riser? Beats me. All I knew for certain was that everyone wanted their decent breakfast warm and their usual coffee served right whether or not my outfit mattered. As for me, I couldn't wait to go home and make up to the loss of my beauty sleep.

The process tunred out to scatter until afternoon, which reminded me of the weird dream I had while struggling to fall asleep last night: Audrey Hepburn was on top of me with a knife sparkling in the dark, she stabbed me once, I grabbed her blade with the palm of my hand, she stabbed me twice, I opened my mouth and locked it shut. However painful the dream was, it left me with a strange feeling of victory as if I had conquered evil.

It has been a while since I last remember having a violent dream. It would be rarer to spend the whole Sunday talking about it. Maybe the rain of a typical March in this city is not the main reason for a character swing. The call of summer with its boldness must be. It's pushing the inner gloom of our personality to the edge once and for all so as for us to wake up in a new skin. Andrey Hepburn must have heard the calling and was there to help me shred last night.

If only I could wear the new skin quickly enough.

Before saying goodbye to the last minute of Sunday, like an uncharming, farmiliar, ironic joke of life, I don't know if I'm longing for the new me or missing my old self. In fact, I may have ruined a good beginning of a writing with a doubtful development of it, which convinces me it's time to go to sleep.

Sophie Calle 1981, The Hotel.

GRAPHIC DESIGN LIFE.

I would say that everything happens between 8 and 5 is about work. I sit at my desk and I design. It’s me and my laptop, my notebook, my tea. So it’s me, me, me. I’m such a control freak that I would sit down and try to come up with the perfect layout for texts and images. But the overall process is a painful realization. For a long time, it’s only about staring at the screen and trusting for some kind of crazy moment to happen.

Simplicity is the key of graphic design. It’s my kind of perfection, the idea of starting out with a thousand different thoughts, then one by one throwing them all out, until I have one or two or three that are eventually essential to making sense of the whole image. Simplicity is the act of getting rid of everything that is not essential to making a point.

I have worked as a graphic designer for three years. The thing is I have never thought of it as a job. When you have done it for two or three years, all of the sudden it becomes the whole point of your living. It’s not. It’s living a smaller, extremely exciting life in a much bigger one. And living so is never easy.

I constantly feel the need to be in control and have a clear sense of what is working and what is not. On the other hand, I understand that being free-spirited is necessary. It’s crucial for me to develop those two personas separately. Be a much more ruthless editor and a much more careless graphic designer. It’s so fun and physically tiring. When my stress takes a toll on the work, I know I have to do something. People would say: “Relax. Take it easy.” But I can't. In graphic design, you take what’s blocking you, break them into little elements and rearrange them to make a statement.

Only after that will I loosen up. When I do, I start living my life out of the studio. There is a decoration shop owned by a writer that I like. He sells stuffs that make absolutely no sense whatsoever economically. It’s a totally different mindset. On the contrary, the bar of his, which is a few steps away from the shop, relates to me deeply. It’s where I always feel like “This is the place I want to sit and chill out.” There is this emotional exchange when people chat and suddenly silence happens. For couple of times, I’ve tried to work there because that’s how I see myself, the graphic designer being in touch with the selectiveness of the city.

It doesn’t work at all.

The impact on the work is zero. It’s even distracting. I can’t focus when I sit there. That’s when I realize my work and my life, they just don’t mix.

Basically, work is where the pressure begins then fades away. That’s the kind of tension I love though sometimes the effort in delivering the best work is out of desperation. Work is my second life. It’s about showing up, getting started and knowing something amazing will happen or nothing at all. What matters is you enable yourself a chance for something to happen. For that, you sit at your desk, sketch, move the mouse and make decisions while hoping for the best.

When I reach to the point of total worn-out, I imagine meeting the 2014 version of me and how things would happen. Perhaps I’ve lost the spark of the industry’s fresh face. However, I’m confident that I’d kick my 2014 butt. I believe you have to change directions while things are good. I’m in the beginning of my twenties and extremely ambitious. It feels fulfilled, but exhausted. Hanoi is the best place to work, just not a good one to refill your creative tank.

There's this saying in House of Cards: “Always march forward.” It’s true. The best work is never created by a spark of a moment but instilled by thousands of hard-working hours, multiple failures and even a friction of self-disbelief. In order to produce the purest kind of work, everyone must keep trying. In graphic design, my goal is to speak visuals and convey different ideas through the language. For that, I battle to refine the act of speaking and constantly produce. There will never be a work that is done because it’s the opposite of what I’m trying to achieve.

ASK ME ANYTHING.

I have added a new gadget on the right of the blog called "ASK ME ANYTHING" (you would like to switch to web version to see it). Feel free to leave me an anonymous question or a message and I'll get back to you in a post.

Thanks and have a nice day.