BENJAMIN.

Bethena: A Concert Waltz is playing. I will not come back when I get to Singapore. The situation varies. I may not come back literally. Or I may with a different self. In short, I will not return the same. I will miss the person I am today.

I feel like I had a whole life before and I can't remember it. This nostalgia is based on no certain memories. Something I ache for, at times in tears, at times in hope. I feel as if I had been old, as if I had loved someone with all my heart, known every nook of a city so well.

I want certain people to remember me in music. Some would choose jazz. Some think of an appealing beat with whispers, the kind that takes off your clothes. Some play the piano. Some write songs about me. Some enjoy the silence. How would you remember me, my dear? When I leave, what kind of music will be played? Perhaps some will remember me in scent instead?

Cigarettes smell differently on skin. It's tamed on hands, stronger on chest, light on hair, and smoky on clothes. Have any of my readers kissed to taste? Don't say no to unhealthy habits. Others' perspectives don't have a thing on a person. But a person without a perspective is a real concern. Kiss. Kiss deeply, blindly, kiss on the front, on the side of the mouth. Treat life romantically. Erase yourself for a while, live the moment without the knowledge of time.

"IT'S MIDNIGHT AND THE MIND WANDERS."

I wake up every morning and think "I'm so lucky to be alive today."

Even when I'm sad, I still think I'm lucky.

Sadness and happiness only exist in the mind. I can hold onto neither of them and they have no physical or mental influence on me. Those states of mind fuel the incognito personality that a person rarely shows. Whether he or she is a devil or an angel, it certainly represents something human. 

Most of the time I don't know what is the right thing to say. People I've met are messier than I am. 

It's a lie to say that creativity is original. The moment I do something creative, I commit a crime. If my work is an obvious copy, shame on me. If my work delivers a specific kind of authenticity, jokes on me. Whatever it is, as long as it's creative, it's not original.

France. The museums, the music in the streets, the pastries, the cafes, the buildings and rude people, thiefs. Singapore. Lively nightlife, various cultures, Eastern body with Western soul, MM6, $12 pack of cigarettes. 

"It's midnight and the mind wanders.", said my friend who I believe to stay up late a lot. My dear, best things happen at midnight. I want to do something crazy, risky and magical with someone in a strange place at midnight. Perhaps I only need to walk the streets with the right one. 

Midnight is happening. Open your eyes and charge your phone because crazy humans will stay up late and post something weird.