BENJAMIN.

Bethena: A Concert Waltz is playing. I will not come back when I get to Singapore. The situation varies. I may not come back literally. Or I may with a different self. In short, I will not return the same. I will miss the person I am today.

I feel like I had a whole life before and I can't remember it. This nostalgia is based on no certain memories. Something I ache for, at times in tears, at times in hope. I feel as if I had been old, as if I had loved someone with all my heart, known every nook of a city so well.

I want certain people to remember me in music. Some would choose jazz. Some think of an appealing beat with whispers, the kind that takes off your clothes. Some play the piano. Some write songs about me. Some enjoy the silence. How would you remember me, my dear? When I leave, what kind of music will be played? Perhaps some will remember me in scent instead?

Cigarettes smell differently on skin. It's tamed on hands, stronger on chest, light on hair, and smoky on clothes. Have any of my readers kissed to taste? Don't say no to unhealthy habits. Others' perspectives don't have a thing on a person. But a person without a perspective is a real concern. Kiss. Kiss deeply, blindly, kiss on the front, on the side of the mouth. Treat life romantically. Erase yourself for a while, live the moment without the knowledge of time.

STORY OF MY BLUE BIG 'BRICK'

I’ve neglected my blog for quite a long time. I have many excuses for that, one of them is I got sick. I’ve been working with my laptop so much that my eyes started to ache. This morning, I saw neon rays in my eyes like I just saw the sun directly, even though I didn’t. Then it turned worse. I couldn’t concentrate at all and I slept on the table unconsciously for a while. My eyes are better now, as you’re reading what I’ve typed. I know I’m breaking the rules not resting, but not doing anything really sucks. When I stand up, I feel like there’s an orchestra in my head. I wish my family’s summer vacation would come sooner. I can’t wait for the beach and say goodbye to my laptop.

But above my aching eyes and head, many cool things have happened so far. Tonight I look back at my first day in this fashion industry and I feel blessed (maybe the rain gave me nostalgia). I’ve been so lucky to work for talented, hard-working and passionate people. One of them is editor, art director, and former fashion designer Ton Hieu Anh. He was my first big boss and now a good friend of mine. I took him as my brother but I wonder if he knows.

This picture of him is so cool. It's in black and white and he looks fit.