NONSENSE RHYMES.

"Dim sum
I want dim sum
Or steak and fries
Iced tea."


"I made my mom made it."


"The weather was amazingly pleasing
I and my cat were sitting by the window
while I was waiting for the water to boil."


"I think they only pee to please
for the sake of the script they're given."

Above were some of the lines from my conversations with my friend. All unconsciously rhymed or sounded like a poem. Many are left somewhere in my inbox. We shall conquer the history later if 'later' I remember. 

Below are lines from my friends' conversations with me I liked the most.

"My lunch in primary school
Chicken soup and sticky rice once more
Made my mom made it.
Now it's a haiku
A terrible haiku"


"It rained at 5:30
And the weather was amazingly pleasing enough
Cat sitting by the window.
There you go
Now it's a haiku"


"Snickers makes me feel like a fat American."


"That beauty after punk and before hiphop is a great transition for the subculture
That gap is called the blank generation."


"No one cares that you are drinking alone watching people
So you can enjoy life one slice at a time."


"That's the great thing about humanity.
The invisible, yet tactile connection between each other."


"You don't need to prove me anything. I'm convinced."


"I won't even waste my time on you if I think you're shit."


"Trời ơi mày có cổ phần ở đấy hả em"

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

At the end of the day, I find myself to be the happiest, luckiest person on earth thanks to my dear friends. You guys have no idea how much you matter to me.

So much.

Tonight, after 12 and two non-alcohol drinks, I see myself one year older.

To people who came to my life as ex boyfriends, thank you. I don't mean it in hatred and I never will. I don't hold grudge as it makes me smaller than who I am. You guys let me study myself in the most truthful way possible. I now understand the situation clearly. Everything bad that ever happened, I choose to ignore it. I thank you all for setting me free.

To my parents, you know it's been a long struggle in both career and education. I hope you're proud of me. I've worked hard and I'm trying every day to work harder than the day before. It's a tough life. It's more bitter than I thought. But you were right, I need to grow up from within. I love you. Everything I do, you know you have a big part of it.

To my colleagues, oh my god I love you all. I'm proud and happy to be in WEteam. There's no amount of thank-you that is enough. Just, thank you, and buy me cake.

Isn't it strange that on the day supposingly to be mine, I want to spend thanks on as many people as I can? It's because I'm happy. I'm so happy I may give a bath to Hedi tomorrow. My dude suggested me to take a day off and have rice with seafood. What a man, he gets me. I'll go to work as usual, collect everything, and go home, treat myself like a princess.

Now, I'll sleep the early morning away.

THE CONTEXT OF WHAT.

I don't understand. I don't think I understand the context of love. In fact, I'm sure I've never been in love.

A lot of my relationships were based on total affection. Someone liked the idea of one another's and suddenly we found each other bonded in a relationship. I've never said the three words to anyone. It's easy to speak when the love is real. It's dead mute when it doesn't exist.

However, I'm sure that there were days I loved them as there were also days I chose to love myself more. After a long time of expecting my ideal love to happen, I decided I was done with it. I shortened the time that should have been spent on getting to know the person, demanded straightaway what I wanted, and expressed severe reactions when they couldn't live up to my requests. What I was left with, is now.

Now, I doubt people. It seems difficult to trust the smallest gesture. I find interest in lust, flirting and conversations at night. Lust is lust. It's a one-time thing even if it hits twice. Flirting sounds so not delight, yet the core of the act is it. Conversation is the most important thing. It connects two minds. If I'm not careful, I'll find myself falling slowly.. fast. It'll be impossible to stay sane. That's when I seek for a dark corner and a familiar drink to murder the butterflies in my stomach and erase the feelings that I feel. I can't allow myself to be in love. That destructive thing brings joy to people's life so just one day, it takes away everything they've ever had. The getting-back-to-track life is torture.

I have feelings for someone that's supposed to be an one-time thing. And I also have a dear feeling towards someone I hope to befriend with. Clearly I put myself in troubles in a blink of an eye. I need to speak straight to the first person all at once so I can set myself free. And, I don't know, should I befriend with the second person or not? In my teenage years, boys were problems of hair pulling and unwanted back stickers. In my twenties, guys are butterflies in my stomach and virus to my brain.

Whatever happens, I should thank them for the inspirations to write. For the midnight snacks, warm Earl Grey, and arms when needed.

In my mind, my prince wears suits, or at least a white shirt, has a proper helmet, and reads more than I do. He must be a big fan of animals, and never hesitates to take up a new sport. He cooks and wakes up earlier than me. He likes Wes Anderson and watches Quentin Tarantino. But puts Breakfast at Tiffany's first because I've never watched it and I should. He listens to me and understands my ideas without speaking a word. I must feel truly myself when I'm with him. In short, my prince dresses properly and knows his priorities. I believe what I've stated sounds very funny. Truth to be told, I've always had that idea of him since I was nine or ten.

I saw a man in a suit and a pair of oxfords today driving a Ducati. Needless to say, I was sold. Maybe we'll bump into each other soon. Maybe not. For now, all I can do is staying single firmly and confidently because I'm the best when I'm with myself. I shall let the future be decided in the hands of God.

OLD. NEW. GONE.

Album cover of Her. Check out their song Five Minutes. Both the official and live.

I'm here to update you guys about everything. 

Hedi, my cat, is growing up day by day with an impressively fast pace. He now has a longer, straighter tail, sharper paws, higher jump and so much energy in catching non-sense. Miu Miu had a baby several days ago. That makes Hedi brother to a kitten of three colors. I'm not sure if we're allowed to keep the baby. I hope we can because I don't remember having any cats with that fur. Generally, I'm excited to name the kitten. 

My sister is sick and it's not good. Of course, I'm worried. I'm trying my best to stay calm and be fine about it. Times like this require nothing but stability. I can always use a little of comfort. Then again, every time I seek for it, I have to repeat the story, and it's not something I want to keep telling myself about.

I haven't talked to someone I know for a long time. Friend doesn't define our relationship. It's absurd. We're parallel universes, yet we've never met each other in real life. Perhaps that's what parallel is for. Sometimes the support is visible, sometimes the ignorance is stronger. Confusion is what I have for it. Though I don't mind this person's absence, I wonder if there were God, what would have been going on in his mind to let me know this one?

I'm starting to feel like I can use some new friends. 

"IT'S MIDNIGHT AND THE MIND WANDERS."

I wake up every morning and think "I'm so lucky to be alive today."

Even when I'm sad, I still think I'm lucky.

Sadness and happiness only exist in the mind. I can hold onto neither of them and they have no physical or mental influence on me. Those states of mind fuel the incognito personality that a person rarely shows. Whether he or she is a devil or an angel, it certainly represents something human. 

Most of the time I don't know what is the right thing to say. People I've met are messier than I am. 

It's a lie to say that creativity is original. The moment I do something creative, I commit a crime. If my work is an obvious copy, shame on me. If my work delivers a specific kind of authenticity, jokes on me. Whatever it is, as long as it's creative, it's not original.

France. The museums, the music in the streets, the pastries, the cafes, the buildings and rude people, thiefs. Singapore. Lively nightlife, various cultures, Eastern body with Western soul, MM6, $12 pack of cigarettes. 

"It's midnight and the mind wanders.", said my friend who I believe to stay up late a lot. My dear, best things happen at midnight. I want to do something crazy, risky and magical with someone in a strange place at midnight. Perhaps I only need to walk the streets with the right one. 

Midnight is happening. Open your eyes and charge your phone because crazy humans will stay up late and post something weird.