Thursday, September 17, 2015

TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND THE CASUAL THING


I can never forget any guy that stepped into my life. Whether he was a lover or a friend, all of them came and left me with trembling feelings. Having friends with the same gender doesn't give me this attraction. Once you know his name and his work, you start to be more and more curious about his life. What turned him into the person he is today? Why is he so patient when you're so insecure and annoying? You wonder.

My first boyfriend was the same age as mine. He always wore a sweater with a shirt in fall, sometimes suited up and never forgot to put on his black leather watch. When we met, I'd take off the watch and tell him to get it fixed because the strap had worn out. Times after times. He'd say: "Can you fix it for me?" And I'd say: "Sure. I'll press these tips with this folk until they stick again." I'd really do it and he'd watch while reminding me to eat something on the table. The funny thing is I always ate more than he did and he always ended up finishing the salad. Ugh, the salad!

He inspired me. He made me believe in myself and realize how easily happiness could be achieved. I needed to do nothing but be with him. Even if I wasn't, I knew I was awesome. Then we reached to the point where everything busted in the air with dust and flame. We were so opened that we didn't feel bad exploding in front of each other. Anger, disappointment, exhaust, even boredom. Chasing our dreams became prior. The last thing that marked the end was the silence. We never said a proper goodbye. In fact, I've never set things straight as a goodbye to anyone. All happened in silence.

The first week was fine. I buried my head into work. I made up more work to do and I went out with wrong people, those I'd never have a drink with. Being a stranger to myself only worsened the situation. After 2 weeks, there came an unendurable missing feeling, depression and flashbacks. Music. Movies. Projects. None of those was enough because it was never about measuring up to a specific point. It was over and I had to get used to it.

Then I met someone else. New, inspiring and gentle. Someone understood me differently and opened the other parts. I knew he was right because whenever I began to think of my ex, he appeared in my mind instead. Like "Begin Again" by Taylor Swift. I started to like her after truly getting what the song meant. He was dustier, quieter and almost invisible until he talked about his passion. We had that kind of conversation for so many nights. About our dreams, our mission to conquer to world, how badly we wanted to be evil and how hungrily we longed for being turned into angels. Then we laughed because that sounded so cheesy and we were supposed to be cold. We could never be cold! Everything was warm and steamy like a delicious breakfast.


But you know what. Love isn't the necessary thing all the time.

At some points, we will have that kind of friend who is not our boyfriend but neither is a friend. Sometimes it's all about the need. So difficult to put in our emotion if there isn't any. So hard to leave him. He knows something about us. It's undeniable and strong. I've been there. I like it. No commitment, no promises. Fights only last for a couple of minutes. Arguments become a mind game. You exchange something with each other. Then goodnight and you go to sleep satisfied.

Does it sound pathetic? Because it only is when you're not open-minded enough. No one and no experience in life is pathetic. Being afraid creates hesitation and long-term fears. Let it go. Let your mind roam and your lips pulled aside slightly. It means you're smiling. 


Are you smiling now? 

Do you have that kind of friend? For a similar passion, same taste in movies, or lust. All are fine. All represent who we are.

I've shared something weird today, haven't I? I bet you didn't think this was coming. I've changed. I used to pick up some of the personality from everyone I knew. Now, I discover myself day by day, more and more. Authentically, sincerely and carelessly. I'd never have realized how untrue I was to myself if I hadn't stepped back and seen the big picture. I feel alive. Reborn like a phoenix. My breath is the tension of the muscles stretching and shrinking for something fresh. Is this lifestyle healthier? Will it last for good? I hope not. Because it will go up and down, inside out to maintain the original balance. All I know is that I'm excited for tomorrow. Who cares? We're all going to sleep anyway. 

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