MANY GOOD THINGS.

Superstitious beliefs, bad smells, uncontrollable sugar feeding, numb senses, impatience, confusion. That's what I got from overthinking without letting any of it out. These days, I've learned how much stress could affect my body. Some parts of my muscles ached each at a time. It took me around five minutes to slow down my heart beat, and five more to breathe normally again. I grinded. My teeth made love to each other in a hardcore way.

The reason I've been thinking hard recently is the same as in many posts before. I'm worried for my future. I was never born a person of peace, nor was I raised to be. Some people work hard all their life so one day they come to wish for the opposite of what they were chasing, I know. But my fight isn't so. I fight for the future that I want to create. I fight because I'm young, and it's crucial for a young adult to thrive for something higher so he or she will make a progress. In this fight, I struggle and sacrifice to get myself up. Every stumble hurts. Every lesson learned feels good.

Some people truly only want, what I call, a farmer's life. To grow what they need and to live with what they earn. I wonder how they think. I guess there are points in our life where our thinking actually matches. And there are also many points where we would explode towards each other's difference. I have wanted to give it all up. A suitcase was carefully packed once in my bedroom. But I'd never made the decision to leave.

It's easier to avoid, and I'm the alpha type, I face stuffs.

It's silly, isn't it? It will take this fight and many more until I finally realize my ambition is just one of all the things out there. Life is simple. Not many things we love matter in the end. People will remember us for the smallest things we ever did. Our children will be our legacy. Our work will make a history if it's truly good. And we, we will die. In pain, glory, silence and vain. In happiness and among the tears of those who love us. If someone asks me what I can't live without, I'll say love.

I hope when I read this again someday,  I will be able to make sense out of these words. Even answer all of my wonder written here. Right now, I'm thinking of how young I was a year ago. Time, it waits for no one. Tomorrow I can wake up being 25 and the next day I'll be 30. It's so fast. And I have many good things to offer for this life.